It was a bit hard to follow at first, and a couple times I had to reread parts to follow what was going on. That being said, very good use of descriptive words and a feel for the 3 characters. Obviously Butter and Quinoa didn’t know what was really going on but would’ve liked to know more about the experiments and more of a back of what was going on. Overall a good little read, it held my interest enough to want to find out what happened next.
I can also attest, being a woman, consuming cum orally does release endorphins and can be like a drug.
Thanks so much for being the first person to leave a comment—and a positive comment at that! I’ll save the family’s history and reason for the experiments for the future.
If I would go back and change one thing about this short story, it would be to take out all the gibberish ray theory that I inserted because of the criticism that I received from my beta reader. It would ultimately more powerful of a story to depict how something that science says is impossible, the traveling of sound waves in space, truly does exist and have an impact—as imaginary as the G flat minor chord. Maybe someday I’ll publish an anthology of short stories, and I can change this one for the publication. Yes, I do have a pretty active imagination.
For those concerned about the implications of being stuck in a computer simulation (there’s always the Broderick classic WAR GAMES, or a newer favorite, Orson Scott Card’s ENDER’S GAME—I didn’t check the spelling on any of those references): the title of this short story simply cries out “I am not (like a minor, or negative) gay!” (for those of you stuck in the 1920’s, I don’t think anyone in this short story is very happy either) but, if you’re not careful, you’re going to get a real sharp fuck in the ass (a warning to those listening to the song “God Save Farmington” that I originated.
This comment was inspired by a Twitter post (I’ve been out of it for awhile—do they still call it Twitter?) that I noticed at the time that related to the concept of life as a computer simulation (I actually didn’t read the article, just the title and picture like some people used to read Newspapers, or many people today just look at the name and picture associated to one’s Social Media post). An interesting place to begin an exploration of the feelings one might experience as a result of being the only person replying to their own internet media.
Hmm—the darkness of G flat minor… The potential for darkness (negativity) as a result of one’s (let’s take the collective conscious off the menu, although one’s personal thoughts could be considered one ingredient of a final dish placed on that menu [menu like society]) imagination (anyone remember that Epcot ride?).
That last paragraph reads like a math equation. Maybe more thought should be put into how we express our sentences given the varying use of words as found in a dictionary (especially with how those words, take sex for an example, have emotional linkage to how we’ve experienced them used throughout our lives)? Now, I’m commenting on all the thought that might go into how one perceives poetry or a short snippet of beautiful prose.
That’s why I’ll end this comment thinking of Einstein. A man whose Theory of Relativity aided the The Manhattan Project—and we all should know how that ended up. What of the implications of spending money to develop the “gibberish” ray described in this story—which is fictitious—as a weapon? (As a nod to Anna, the poster of the first comment, and my mother, who I think is very embarrassed that I haven’t used her teachings achieve financial and social success, this could be a place to further explore the family history and reasons for the experiment if ever so deigned to continue this saga).
Hello—I don’t believe I know you. I’d like to know how you came by my website—are you secretly a long time friend or family member that is too embarrassed to use your real name?
You asked if I have any other short stories that I’ve been working on—”enough to fill an anthology” as you put it. Well, truthfully the stories I’ve been trying to write lately take place in real life. Since my soon-to-be- ex-wife suffered from crippling social anxiety (I think it crippled me more than it did her), in my absence of numerous friends, I have been reaching out to the Facebook friends I have on my personal Facebook account trying to find people willing to “write a story’ with me.
There’s the one about the puppet show for children that I create with friends to put on in the empty space in my condo that used to be occupied by a fish tank so big that it would shame many restaurants and the dining room table that my wife took with her when she moved out. There’s the one about the award winning/record breaking music video that resulted out of my trip back to my hometown for my 25th high school reunion (a trip that I gave up on because I realized there are so many new people in my new hometown that I should probably get to know before I return to my old hometown to reaquant myself with old schoolmates. Then there’s my favorite, the story about how I finally find true love and start the family that I always wanted.
Oh! So you come from “across the pond.” I just sort of binge watched FLEABAG on Amazon. The show moved me very emotionally—both laughter and tears. I’d love to know how much the main character’s story comes from a woman’s perspective. I should get to know someone that actually works on the show.
I didn’t know how to write that last sentence. Would I want to know the cast, crew, or specifically the writer’s? Would I be able to guess their sex/gender from their names on the credits? I never did pay much attention to the credits of a show beyond thet stars and the director. I should probably relate that specifically to feature length movies and not TV shows which I usually just watch as a past time and learn about the actors as they achieve popularity. I’m a snob—I was always attracted to the notion of the Auteur Theory. The Writer/Director being the ultimate realization of this and my benchmark for films that I once sought out.
Of course, that stars are the ones that I, as an audience member, truly fall in love with, but what is the origin of their voice? Is it the person that writes their words, the person that decides how the words are captured on the medium, or the person with the emotional capacity to act them out?
FLEABAG Season 3—She (I honestly don’t know the name of the character or the actress—The whole Auteur Theory thing—and don’t really want to look them up. She’s probably the sister of some Hungarian girl that I dated) establishes an online relationship with a struggling American writer (someone to send more than just twat pics to).
How does she meet him? She posts a comment on his web page after hearing about the site from an International “mutual” friend of theirs. She knows the friend through her cafe, and he went to school with the friend—the friend was the person that got him to open a Facebook account in the first place, and although the two never communicate, she noticed his website when he posted it for all his Facebook friends to see. The friend describes him to Fleabag as an American jack-off artist (To which she does one of her patented, breaking the fourth wall, eyebrow shimmies).
Truthfully, he is as lonely as she is. Although, where her loneliness stems from the choices she’s made sexually, his loneliness (while sex is a large part of it) stems from his isolation resulting in part by the diagnosis of a mental disorder. Is the diagnosis justified, or just the misunderstanding of those trying to help that think their own personal experiences hold more authority than his personal experiences—experiences that led him to exhibit the odd behavior that they associate to his illness? Since the show has multiple writers, I’ll let them weigh in now.
[This comment was edited to remove spoiler, etc.]
It was a bit hard to follow at first, and a couple times I had to reread parts to follow what was going on. That being said, very good use of descriptive words and a feel for the 3 characters. Obviously Butter and Quinoa didn’t know what was really going on but would’ve liked to know more about the experiments and more of a back of what was going on. Overall a good little read, it held my interest enough to want to find out what happened next.
I can also attest, being a woman, consuming cum orally does release endorphins and can be like a drug.
Thanks so much for being the first person to leave a comment—and a positive comment at that! I’ll save the family’s history and reason for the experiments for the future.
“Consuming cum orally?” — no comment.
If I would go back and change one thing about this short story, it would be to take out all the gibberish ray theory that I inserted because of the criticism that I received from my beta reader. It would ultimately more powerful of a story to depict how something that science says is impossible, the traveling of sound waves in space, truly does exist and have an impact—as imaginary as the G flat minor chord. Maybe someday I’ll publish an anthology of short stories, and I can change this one for the publication. Yes, I do have a pretty active imagination.
For those concerned about the implications of being stuck in a computer simulation (there’s always the Broderick classic WAR GAMES, or a newer favorite, Orson Scott Card’s ENDER’S GAME—I didn’t check the spelling on any of those references): the title of this short story simply cries out “I am not (like a minor, or negative) gay!” (for those of you stuck in the 1920’s, I don’t think anyone in this short story is very happy either) but, if you’re not careful, you’re going to get a real sharp fuck in the ass (a warning to those listening to the song “God Save Farmington” that I originated.
https://twitter.com/universal_sci/status/1628583078091231233?s=46&t=avBCUAkgy5RyD0utEMO69w
This comment was inspired by a Twitter post (I’ve been out of it for awhile—do they still call it Twitter?) that I noticed at the time that related to the concept of life as a computer simulation (I actually didn’t read the article, just the title and picture like some people used to read Newspapers, or many people today just look at the name and picture associated to one’s Social Media post). An interesting place to begin an exploration of the feelings one might experience as a result of being the only person replying to their own internet media.
Hmm—the darkness of G flat minor… The potential for darkness (negativity) as a result of one’s (let’s take the collective conscious off the menu, although one’s personal thoughts could be considered one ingredient of a final dish placed on that menu [menu like society]) imagination (anyone remember that Epcot ride?).
That last paragraph reads like a math equation. Maybe more thought should be put into how we express our sentences given the varying use of words as found in a dictionary (especially with how those words, take sex for an example, have emotional linkage to how we’ve experienced them used throughout our lives)? Now, I’m commenting on all the thought that might go into how one perceives poetry or a short snippet of beautiful prose.
That’s why I’ll end this comment thinking of Einstein. A man whose Theory of Relativity aided the The Manhattan Project—and we all should know how that ended up. What of the implications of spending money to develop the “gibberish” ray described in this story—which is fictitious—as a weapon? (As a nod to Anna, the poster of the first comment, and my mother, who I think is very embarrassed that I haven’t used her teachings achieve financial and social success, this could be a place to further explore the family history and reasons for the experiment if ever so deigned to continue this saga).
Hello—I don’t believe I know you. I’d like to know how you came by my website—are you secretly a long time friend or family member that is too embarrassed to use your real name?
You asked if I have any other short stories that I’ve been working on—”enough to fill an anthology” as you put it. Well, truthfully the stories I’ve been trying to write lately take place in real life. Since my soon-to-be- ex-wife suffered from crippling social anxiety (I think it crippled me more than it did her), in my absence of numerous friends, I have been reaching out to the Facebook friends I have on my personal Facebook account trying to find people willing to “write a story’ with me.
There’s the one about the puppet show for children that I create with friends to put on in the empty space in my condo that used to be occupied by a fish tank so big that it would shame many restaurants and the dining room table that my wife took with her when she moved out. There’s the one about the award winning/record breaking music video that resulted out of my trip back to my hometown for my 25th high school reunion (a trip that I gave up on because I realized there are so many new people in my new hometown that I should probably get to know before I return to my old hometown to reaquant myself with old schoolmates. Then there’s my favorite, the story about how I finally find true love and start the family that I always wanted.
Well, this is a start of a new story, of sorts.
Oh! So you come from “across the pond.” I just sort of binge watched FLEABAG on Amazon. The show moved me very emotionally—both laughter and tears. I’d love to know how much the main character’s story comes from a woman’s perspective. I should get to know someone that actually works on the show.
I didn’t know how to write that last sentence. Would I want to know the cast, crew, or specifically the writer’s? Would I be able to guess their sex/gender from their names on the credits? I never did pay much attention to the credits of a show beyond thet stars and the director. I should probably relate that specifically to feature length movies and not TV shows which I usually just watch as a past time and learn about the actors as they achieve popularity. I’m a snob—I was always attracted to the notion of the Auteur Theory. The Writer/Director being the ultimate realization of this and my benchmark for films that I once sought out.
Of course, that stars are the ones that I, as an audience member, truly fall in love with, but what is the origin of their voice? Is it the person that writes their words, the person that decides how the words are captured on the medium, or the person with the emotional capacity to act them out?
FLEABAG Season 3—She (I honestly don’t know the name of the character or the actress—The whole Auteur Theory thing—and don’t really want to look them up. She’s probably the sister of some Hungarian girl that I dated) establishes an online relationship with a struggling American writer (someone to send more than just twat pics to).
How does she meet him? She posts a comment on his web page after hearing about the site from an International “mutual” friend of theirs. She knows the friend through her cafe, and he went to school with the friend—the friend was the person that got him to open a Facebook account in the first place, and although the two never communicate, she noticed his website when he posted it for all his Facebook friends to see. The friend describes him to Fleabag as an American jack-off artist (To which she does one of her patented, breaking the fourth wall, eyebrow shimmies).
Truthfully, he is as lonely as she is. Although, where her loneliness stems from the choices she’s made sexually, his loneliness (while sex is a large part of it) stems from his isolation resulting in part by the diagnosis of a mental disorder. Is the diagnosis justified, or just the misunderstanding of those trying to help that think their own personal experiences hold more authority than his personal experiences—experiences that led him to exhibit the odd behavior that they associate to his illness? Since the show has multiple writers, I’ll let them weigh in now.